The "A Word".....We Must Be Brave.
The Webster's dictionary defines anxiety as a "state of uncertainty: a disturbance of the mind regarding uncertain events." We don't like uncertainty. We don't like talking about it. In this age of self-sufficiency, we are fearful of the unknown. Because of technology, we have immediate access to the answers for many of our questions. After all, one can ask Siri or "google it." As a society, the immediate need to find answers leaves us relying less on each other and finding no place for Him.
I, Momma Vaughan, have suffered from anxiety most of my life. The comments of my elementary report card detailed the depths of my need for perfection and the countless ways I hated uncertainty. My precious 5th grade teacher Mrs. Grantvedt wrote, "I wish she wouldn't get discouraged when she doesn't do things perfectly the first time." In college, I expected to earn all A's. I remember being in the office of a Political Science professor, desperately asking him what I could do to bring my B average up to an A. His words included the short phrase, "...but a B in this class is ok." Who was he kidding?!? Momma Vaughan always felt I was one test away from failing in life and falling flat on my face.
After I entered the world of being a "real grown up" with two children (ok... I am working on the real grown up part!), this battle became too big for me to fight alone. I sought counseling, I leaned on the wisdom of the medical community regarding the best medications for anxiety, and I drew closer to God than I ever imagined was possible. I learned that His word provides us with a spiritual compass for addressing the worries in our lives. Over time, I wove scripture into the tapestry of my daily routine and began each day with the healing words of Jesus Calling. In the months leading up to my daughter's departure for college, I found myself, once again, faced with a "season of uncertainty." What would life be like having my oldest 12 hours from home? How should I spend my time with all the senior year activities and college application process behind us? I remember clinging to the words of Beth Moore in a recent Bible study as she explained that if we strive to glorify God as our purpose in life we will end up doing great things precisely because we do "God-things."
7 months ago, my daughter began her journey in Auburn, Alabama and Momma Vaughan began a new journey here in Colleyville, Texas. It is a journey of "God-things." In this transitional year, I believe God has called me to address the "A Word," and to help others cope with the difficult effects of anxiety. Writing my blog has helped reinforce that laughter will always be some of the best medicine we can share with one another. Laughable moments seem to happen in the Vaughan family often! You must know, that in the first 15 minutes I began writing this exact blog, a noise that one cannot adequately describe began echoing throughout the walls of my house. Because I was the only one awake, I had to leave my "blog-writing chair," and begin a thorough CSI search of the premises. I determined, after crawling half-way into my chimney, that the sound of something running into a hard surface and crashing was, in fact, a bird. Thank you, Jesus that he chose to leave after 20 minutes. He brought me anxiety while writing about anxiety...I ain't kidding!!!
In addition to writing my blog, I am serving on a new committee at church with the purpose of addressing the topics of stress and anxiety as they impact our youth. It is my greatest desire to help our youth recognize that they are not alone in this fight. Once every two weeks, I have coffee with a group of fabulous ladies with whom I have the pleasure to simply do this crazy thing we call "life." While solving the problems of this big, vast world, we share our hearts and our souls. These friendships, formed at First United Methodist Church of Grapevine, share a common thread. We all experience anxiety. We talk about our anxiety. We live with people who sometimes cause us anxiety. I think we all do, right?!? Most importantly, we provide one another with a safe place to simply rest in the beautiful reality that we are never alone. It is time for all of us to talk about the "A Word." Be brave. Share your struggles with others. Lean into those around you. Lean into the comforting arms of Jesus.
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